this morning i went with my mom to get an mri done.
my aunt, gramma, mom and me went with her. she was on meds so she was out of it when it was over so we took her home and my gramma and aunt left. i put my mom into bed, climbed into it with her and watched dance moms until we both fell asleep together for three hours in her giant king sized bed.
when we were standing in the driveway watching my aunt and gramma drive off, i was playing with my mom’s hair and telling her how long it’s gotten. she looked away and said, “yeah, but pretty soon i’ll be bald.”
i know she can get through this. cancer does not define her.
i kept waking up crying, hoping that yesterday wasn’t real. but it was. i have to force myself to eat. because i’m not hungry. i have upped my coffee intake considerably. i don’t want to feel anything. i haven’t done any school work. i don’t want to be at my apartment at school. i don’t want to be in san diego. i want to be at home with my mom.