but first, coffee.

baebly:

if you make me laugh im already 89% in love with you 

yourbones:

somegirlnamedkaitlyn:

My dog understands the word “No,” so how are you going to tell me teenage boys don’t know the difference between rape and consent?

Nailed it.

peekaaboo:

nhl officiating is a joke

mcquaiding:

didnt the nhl season start like yesterday

believed:

man razors always seem to be better built than lady shavers

why am i expected to remove all hair from nose to toe with a rusty knife glued onto a cheap pink plastic stick on an almost daily basis

if it is insisted that i be as hairless as a sphynx with alopecia swimming in a vat of radioactive nair i should at least be given razors that can sustain a single session of chopping down the dense and beautiful forestry that covers my upside-down canada for fuck’s sake

i just think that it really sucks that everyone else gets to be in a cute and a happy relationship and then i’m over here like, “yup. in july i’ll be single for 2 years”

i don’t think i’m that awful of a person for someone not to want to be with me…….

alltimeangela:

why does leonardo dicaprio always end up dead in the water with no girlfriend

graysea:

Hello old sport my name old sport is Jay old sport Gatsby old sport

old sport

fromtheblueline:

impress me with a bouquet of season tickets because flowers die and season tickets last much longer